Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize