The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
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