just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
