if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
