Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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