Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize