Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
What drink are we having for lunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The Olympian is in my bed
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize