just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
