She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
