shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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