if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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