dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
