if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize