Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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