Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
3pm strippers are depressing
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
