does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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