i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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