chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
