he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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