you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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