called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
