He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
