so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize