I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
