Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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