Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
