Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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