just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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