i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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