I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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