You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize