His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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