Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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