so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
