Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
