Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
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