He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
