I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
