i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
