just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
