We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
