it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize