That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
