shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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