I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
