So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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