it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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