i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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