How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Sponge bath it is.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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