If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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