he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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