I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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