Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
