Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Drunk is a universal language darling
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