he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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