hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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