she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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