if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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